Okay. So I've been working at McDonald's for about 5 months now. And I have to say, people are idiots. But after much thought, I decided to put together a list of Do's and Don'ts when it comes to ordering at The Donald's. 1. Don't be so vague. If you want a coke, ask for a coke. Don't ask for a small drink. You're not telling me anything with that. Also, on a similar note don't just ask for a coke. At McDonald's our drinks come in a variety of sizes. Pick one.
2. There is no such size as "regular". We have small, medium, and large. [Sometimes, we even have child sizes if we like you enough.] When I ask you what size you want your fries or your drink, do not say regular. I don't know what that means, because it doesn't exist.
3. Just because you don't say, "a dollar double cheeseburger", doesn't mean we charge you extra. I know what's on the dollar menu. You don't have to tell me. I'm sorry you're so cheap.
4. There is no dollar chicken nugget. Thank-you.
5. Who exactly are these peoples who come to my drive-thru and ask for one double cheeseburger [while making sure to tell me it's on the dollar menu] and then expect me to break a hundred dollar bill? Seriously, what the hell?
6. NO, WE DON'T BREAK HUNDREDS! Nor do we break anything larger than a twenty. There are signs. They have been up for a while. Don't act surprised when I tell you we don't take them.
7. If your credit card gets denied, don't look at me like it's my fault. I just swiped the card.
8. If the people at the second window somehow get your order wrong, don't come back to me. I can't help you. All I have in my little window is a register and a pathetic excuse for a fan. Go to the second window for that. If you come to me, I will only direct you there.
9. Do have what you want to order in mind. It's annoying having to wait for what feels like twenty minutes while you stare at the menu and cars begin lining up behind you, just for you to order a plain sundae.
10. Why yes, combos do come with fries and a drink. ._.
11. Don't wait for a penny. If you're change is exactly one cent and you sit there waiting for it, with you're hand extended, you have a problem. Don't come back. You make me sick.
12. If you have multiple orders, please don't sneak it up on me. State that in the beginning. It's not hard to do, and it would be just nice. Also, if you want your combo large, say that first. Don't let me put in your whole order and then decide you want it large. You see, we have a little thing called "TReds". A cashier gets them everytime they take off something an order, say a medium combo to be replaced with a large. If we get too many of them, our register basically shuts down. Managers have to be involved and it's just annoying and messy. Stop doing that. Specify that you want it large at the get-go and we'll be a-okay.
13. There is no such drink as "orange". Stop ordering it. You sound like an idiot.
14. If you order $42 worth of food at McDonald's, KILL YOURSELF. It will be faster than the artery clogging death you are trying to induce.
And last but certainly not least.
15. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT EVER HONK YOUR HORN AT THE CASHIER IN THE DRIVE THRU! Do you have any idea how rude that is? Did you ever consider that maybe there is a reason I didn't just immediately respond to you? It's probably because I have to something more pressing to deal with first. Wait. It will not kill you. I will only purposely make you wait longer if you do that. I think that's everything for now.
You've been warned. | 
